Unreliable Phasers have Odd Effects
by J0j2
Summary: Spock's 'mini' struggle against becoming a toddler. Full of lols. Plz R&R for more. Chapters coming! I honestly have no idea where this will end up, but NO SLASHY by any means, but lots of friendship stuff fluff.
1. Ready, Aim, Shrink

Unreliable Phasers have Odd Effects

As the captain of the USS enterprise claimed the new phaser guns, the presentation was given on how to use them. There were several new functions, but it hadn't been completely tested. That was why the enterprise was given the duty and reward of doing so.

"C'mon guys. Lets go." Kirk said as he took the large, heavy box with a red shirt's help.

"Captain, it would be wise if we stayed for the arrangement of the tutorial. It was strictly for us and it would be rude to leave." Jim's first officer, Spock pointed out.

"Spock, you can stay but I need to map out the coordinates for omega 18 and then manage the rewiring of the ship's life support system. I have a lot on my plate."

"Your plate, sir?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"It's just a metaphor Spock." Jim sighed. If there's one thing his Vulcan friend didn't get, was a play on words. "Actually, you should stay for the orientation. It would be good if at least one of us did."

Spock nodded. "Alright captain. I will be beamed aboard at 0:17 hours."

"See you then. Alright Hedrington, hold it steady…" he told the guy holding the other end of the cardboard box as they disappeared in a whirling of speckled yellow light. The Vulcan returned in to the dark lit room with the complex diagram of a phaser version 7.8. Some of the new features involved transporting objects, shrinking and super heat. All fascinating topics. Since the transporting technology has already been invented (the transporter room? Ring a bell?), it was much more stable. Super heat was a little bit less because the molecular crunching, but the one they were most unsure about was the shrinkage function. Although, that was the one Spock thought the most interesting.

Finally the orientation was over and the landing party was beamed up to the ship. As Spock and McCoy walked over to the transporting dock, McCoy commented on the new phasers. "So, what did you like the most about these new babies?" he said, fingering the black device in his hand.

"Babies? Why would the word used to describe infants relate to the new model of phasers?" McCoy slapped his forehead.

"What do you like about the phasers? There. Is that better?!" Bones said, highly annoyed with Spock's non comprehending.

"I do find the contracting setting quite fascinating." He mused, feeling the soft plastic and the hum of the gun.

"We are supposed to test them. Should I try it on you to get that brain smaller?" he laughed.

"Possibly I should test it on you and shrink your ego." Spock retorted as they beamed up.

"Shuddup, hobgoblin."

They got back to the ship at exactly 0:17 hours and Kirk was waiting for his two best friends to return. "How was the trip, gentlemen?"

"Boring, but anyway, these things are supposed to be able to shrink you down to the size of a toddler, or to the size of a pea!" McCoy explained.

"'Spose you want to test it out." Jim sighed.

"You bet!" followed by;

"That would be satisfactory, captain." So, they went back to their quarters for a little time since it had been such a long day, then Bones, Spock and Kirk went down to the deflector room. (It was a room that absorbed power sources safely, thus creating the perfect environment for phaser testing.)

"So what are we going to try these on?" Bones asked, anxiously.

"Well we had some spare chloride nitrolite barrels so I had them ordered in." Kirk responded as barrels were being wheeled in. "Ready?"

"Oh yea. Spock, you want to go?"

"No, it seems as the honor should go to the captain." Bones rolled his eyes. He had to be so formal.

"Alright Jim, you heard the elf, shoot." So, Kirk leaned in, nearing the shot, his phaser set to shrink, and blasted the barrel. It went from the size of a klingon to the size of a tribble.

"Woah!" Jim said, astounded at the power laying in his hands. More barrels were being brought in. "Alright bones, you're up." He motioned.

"Ok." He said, stepping up to the plate. He aimed carefully and was about to pull the trigger when there was a crash and he pressed it down hard.

"Hedrington!" Kirk screamed. "Be more careful with those barrels!" The beam bounced off the walls, the new technology not being absorbed by the room's strong pull. It flashed in a fury of green and blue light until it hit it's victim. The only Vulcan in the room.

After we had entered the room, the good doctor with not so 'good' shooting aim shot by accident after a rather clumsy red shirt had dropped empty chloride nitrolite barrels on the floor. I was hit by the beam.

My body must look odd because of Jim's reaction.

"Oh my god. Bones!" The doctor flung around to examine me. I felt shorter. Clearly one of the effects of the beam.

McCoy raised his eyebrows very high. And started laughing. I do not understand why though. "He's so cute! I never thought I'd say it about a green blooded hobgoblin!"

Cute would not be a correct word to describe me. As I do not understand why cute would be a good description, McCoy used it.

"Bones! He could be stuck like this!"

"Can I inquire what I could be stuck as?" I asked. My voice can out unusually high pitched. I rubbed my throat. I then looked up and it didn't take much effort to figure out I had become a child.

"You're a toddler Spock!" McCoy kept laughing. Frankly, it angered me. He put his head in his hand, still amused with the situation. I wasn't and neither was Jim.

"You…might want to have a look." I was lead into the captain's quarters. Everything on the way was about three times the size of me and I was looked down oddly at many a time. When we got to the room, I could not reach the mirror. Although I hate to admit it, it was very embarrassing. Jim had to pick me up (As strange as it is, yes it is.) so I could see my reflection.

I blinked. Twice. In the mirror was myself as the doctor had put it. I was indeed a toddler.

Spock's face let it's cool go for a fraction of a second as it contorted into utter disbelief. "Spock…come on. We need to report back to star base."

"Captain, I-"

"Um, actually, probably best you stay here." Spock didn't object. This was most unsettling. His face had gotten a little chubbier, but lean all the same. His skin was a brighter green then before and his eyes shone more and were bigger. But, he was not about to admit he was very embarrassed. Good thing the captain noticed.

"Kirk to starbase."

"We read. Proceed." The man's face came up onscreen.

"Your new phasers have had a very bad effect on my first officer." The man raised his eyebrows.

"Oh?" he asked. "Can we see a picture?"

"Um…" Kirk considered the dignity of his first officer. He may be Vulcan, but he was half human. Oh well, Starfleet asked. "Yes. Picture onscreen." There, the video camera installed in his quarters showed a nervous, but all the same cool looking first officer as a small child.

"That's First officer Spock?" Little Spock sat on the bed and swung his feet, gently kicking the bedspread.

"Yes, and I suggest you fix him!" Kirk was getting annoyed with the incompetence of Starfleet command.

"We'll run tests as soon as possible sir. Starbase out." The entire bridge had seen the picture in the room, as did bones who had been sitting in the entire time. They all stared at Jim as if to say, "What did you do?"

"A little malfunction with the phasers." Kirk said as he left. Slowly, all the crewmembers took them out of their pockets and placed them on the captain's chair and continued working.


	2. Dianosis

Chapter 2

Note: Nothing belongs 2 me except this story. Not the charries. Sadly. But, I realized oddly I switched from first to 3rd person. (wow, that's embarrassing I didn't catch that in my proof reading.) Here's chapter 2!

Spock gingerly felt the soft material on the captain's bed. Everything appeared huge to him. It had never occurred that life would be so much different as a smaller version of himself. It was worrying.

Eagerly and obediently he waited for the captain to return, and although he would not by any means admit it, he was very embarrassed to look as a small, chubby child.

The door in to the quarters opened with the squealing as they always do. "Spock?" Kirk asked, looking around then jumping a little, still not used to the tiny first officer that now sat on his bed.

"Yes Captain?" he replied, awaiting an answer to this inconvenience.

"They don't know…" the captain replied to his friend. "Star base had never heard of anything along those lines in the previous testing and it seems impossible for this. The scientists are going to rerun it…Bones came in and talked a little. Maybe he can tell us more on this…dilemma." Kirk sighed.

"What if we can't get him back?" he thought frantically. "What if he's stuck being like this…oh god, what if?!"

"Captain?" Spock said, continuing to suggest Jim's anguish in his tiny voice. "I do believe although from his remarks, the good doctor would be an excellent source of information for this." Spock jumped from the bed on to the floor before realizing that he was WAY too short to reach the internal communicators.

"Um…I got it Spock." It was weird. Looking at that same, plain face as the adult Vulcan he knew on the body of a toddler…indescribably strange and creepy. "Kirk to sickbay." He punched the little button thing.

"Sickbay, McCoy here."

"Bones, could you come to my quarters?"

"I don't make house calls Jim I- It's about Spocklet isn't it?"

"Yes, it is – wait, you just said Spocklet?"

"Yea, Mini-Spock." You could hear a laugh in his voice. Kirk exhaled, glancing over at 'Spocklet', who was displeased and annoyed at the nickname. He blushed a bright green color.

"Just get over here Bones. Kirk out." The captain let go of the button and laughed nervously. "Sorry-"

"You do not need to apologize." Spock said forgivingly. Anyway, it was McCoy's nickname, not Jim's. "We just have to hope there will be a cure for this." Spock realized something. That he was bound to duty, and he might as well suggest it. "Captain, I am perfectly capable for duty." The words came out, although he did not want them to. It was awkward enough to be 2 and a half feet tall.

"Oh no you're not, Spock. If anything you're to stay in quarters. If in case there was some sort of contagion to this…disease or maybe activity does something…I don't know." Kirk sat at his desk, head in hand.

Spock was relieved a little not to go back to work, but the situation at hand was messing up his logical mindset. It was almost as if- no…no, of course not. But then again…-There was a sliding of enterprise doors as an irregularly sized Bones McCoy walking through.

"How's the little hobgoblin?" he said, still mildly amused with the situation, but becoming more and more aware of the severity of the situation.

"I assure you doctor, I am fine as to my mental health, but the pertaining of yourself is yet to be desired." He did his little expression. If you asked Bones, it was disconcerting to see the expression on a toddler, phrased almost exactly as the captain thought. "My physical is not in it's normal state as you can see."

McCoy ran the tricorder as it hummed and whirred, bringing a familiar sound to the six ears in the room. "Perfectly healthy." He shrugged.

"Perfectly? Healthy? My first officer's a little kid!" Jim was almost to the point of yelling as he said this.

"Perfectly healthy-" Bones cut in, "for a four year old Vulcan boy. I don't know Jim, the tricorder shows no cell disruption or irregular activity. He's fine as to his size. The only thing is the blood pressure to that head of yours has lessened hugely. Spock, you're sure you're thinking straight?"

Spock pondered this, unaware of rapidly beating his feet on the edge of the bed as he sat there. "Doctor, I am actually not consciously feeling and discomforts of mind, although it seems as some of my thoughts have been…" he trailed off, self-conscious of the word releasing from his mouth.

Bones smiled, knowing what was coming. "Illogical, Mr. Spock?" It felt weird calling a child 'mister.'

"Correct, doctor. Could this effect my reasoning?"

"Yup. Spock, if we don't get this fixed, you could have the brain set of a four year old. I don't know if your memory will retain when," he paused a little bit and both Jim and Spock caught on to the unsaid 'if'. "we get you back to normal size."

Spock nodded, determined, but very unsure. Looking anything but the Vulcan first officer of Starfleet. More like a small, lost, scared child. Kirk wanted to reach out to his friend, but, realizing the awkwardness of that situation made him refrain.

Kirk looked hopefully at his comrade McCoy. The fact of the matter was, they could and might lose their best friend. Bones looked at the floor as if to say, 'I'm sorry, I don't know. I just don't. I'm not McGiver.'

****More coming soon. Suggestions welcome! Hope you like it! (P.S. Should the next chapter have some Spock pov?****


	3. Time and Brain

Chapter 3

Spock walked around his quarters for a little while, trying to find efficient ways of getting up on to high surfaces, while something soft was slung over his shoulder. He had been ordered to stay in his office until the captain returned. He did not necessarily want a small Spock or 'Spocklet' as Bones put it walking around the ship, nor did he want Spock to get embarrassed, deny he was embarrassed and then actually throw a fit with his new four year old mind.

Kirk walked in through the creaking doors, startling Spock and sending him to land on the floor on his butt from the perch he was using to attempt getting up on the bed. A soft cut of fabric fell on his head.

"Spock?"

"Yes Captain?" he replied in his high pitched voice, taking the piece of sheet and swinging it over his shoulder.

"Is your…logical mind alright?"

"Yes, I was in fact trying to invent ways to lift myself on to higher grounds." Spock said, nonchalantly.

"With a blanket?" Kirk said, eying the piece of blanket Spocklet was stroking.

His face flushed an almost unnatural shade of green as he tried to recover from this…minor error. "I was merely attempting to find a sling to attach to-"

"Its okay. I'll just have to report this to McCoy and-"

"Is it necessary to tell the doctor?" he asked sheepishly.

"Sorry Spock, we need to run some mental scans and this is…going to need to be recorded. It's logical."

"Yes, it is." He agreed, even if it meant a personal sacrifice. He nuzzled the white, fluffy piece of sheet a little bit. It seemed very subconscious. "What am I to do to occupy my time at the moment?" he said. It was spock's way of saying, I'm _really _bored.

"Well, I could go through the storage compartments. I realize it must be tough for such a genius mind to be so unoccupied. I have something you might like, Mr. Spock." The four year old Vulcan sat on the floor as Jim left before attempting to climb up on to the bed again.

XXX

On his way to the storage bays, he dropped by sickbay to give a report. "Bones, Spock was um…" he almost couldn't bring himself to say it. Spock and him were so close…it was really a violation of his dignity, but if the adult Spock were here, he'd say it were only logical. McCoy looked up a little at the captain. "He was carrying around a blanket."

Bones let out a 'pft' sound and laughed. "Are you serious?" he said smiling a little. His laughter was met with a dead, cold silence. "Okay Jim, fine. I realize this is bad alright? No more laughing." He said defensively. He put down his notepad and brought up his palms as if to say, I'm not drawn and ready.

"Just do the scan."

"Look, Jim, we're going to have to run a mental to see how fast this process is and see if we can reverse engineer it."

"What if we don't find it fast enough?" Kirk pleaded. Almost begging his friend to find it. To give it to him. The captain stared Bones right in the eyes, looking like a puppy from a shelter, pure fear almost blinking in his eyes. McCoy put a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll find it Jim. We'll get the cure. Starbase said they're sending up the manufacturing design." He gave his friend a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. "We just have to run some tests on Spock and see how fast the process is. But Jim," the captain's face was on the floor. "Look at me Jim." His head turned up, looking McCoy straight in the eyes. "He is going to be okay." Bones wanted to embrace his friend as a way to just…tell him that he was in on it with him. Spock was his friend too you know.

But honestly, he knew it was extremely obnoxious how he had acted and he wanted to make it up to his best friend. He walked over to a very nondescript drawer. "Whisky?" he asked.

"Sure." Kirk replied, the offer of a drink lifting his mood a little.

XXX

Kirk had gone to the storage units and picked out a super ancient device known as the IPod touch. It had a lot of applications including word games, mind bogglers and other things a Vulcan might find interesting.

His face was aglow with the images as he stepped in to medical bay. McCoy lead him in, a little unsure on how to talk to the little guy, who was way smarter then the average human with an IQ of 189 and slowly dropping. "Spock, I'm going to need the brain waves clear of disturbances, can I see that…" He trailed off, not knowing what in blazes that antique thing was.

"IPod touch doctor. Very well. Where should I sit?" he asked.

"Just up there is fine." Bones pointed to a med bay recline chair. "Be right back." He left to get some supplies. Spocklet grabbed hold of the armrest and tried to hoist himself up to no avail.

"Here." Kirk said, lifting him up on to there. Spock blushed a little, needing the captain's help to perform such a simple task. McCoy returned with a technological clipboard.

"Alright Spock, just lean back and place your hand here." Bones pointed to the black spot on the armrest he had placed there. It was way out of Spock's reach. He moved it closer and the Vulcan's little chubby hand went over it.

"Will this require any pain?" Spock asked, his phobia of getting hurt as any little kid would have, showing brightly.

"No Spock, just sit like that."

A few minutes passed, Kirk sat on a bed, anxiously awaiting the results like a scared father. "Jim, come out in the hall for a sec." Bones lead Kirk in to the hallway. "We have about a week. More or less. Before…"

"Before what?" Jim said, grabbing Bones's arm.

"Before, well, either his brain resets and we won't be able to recover it or his hormones stop working and he….dies." the last word was barely auditable. It was the word that Kirk had been hoping would not escape the Doctor's lips. They stood there in silence for a moment. Then two, then three. Finally, McCoy spoke.

"I would like to use him while his brain is still functional to help find our cure." Jim nodded solemnly. "Captain, please get some rest." He said, patting Jim on the back. The captain left for his quarters.

* * *

Comments on other things that could be an element of humor or drama is always excepted! This is the last one for at least a few days (going away) but if you like things with kids, I suggest you check out my other story 'Student Captains'. It's hilarious. Kids shadow the crewmen. (Better then it sounds)


	4. Let sleeping Vulcans Lie

Chapter 4

(A little Spock POV for a nice effect.)

As I sat on the medical bay bed, I heard the Captain and Dr. McCoy speaking outside about me. I do not believe they knew I overheard it, but my Vulcan hearing does have its quirks. This was something I was not pleased to hear.

My life span was only going to be a week. I have subconsciously been doing things that seem…strange and illogical. I was reported to be carrying around what Jim called a security blanket, my mind has been running off to odd things that are not pertaining to the task at hand, and several times I have had extreme urges for an emotional outburst.

I must say, McCoy's nickname 'Spocklet' has been rather disconcerting and embarrassing. I have overheard many lower ranks talk about myself, and use that same name. I purely do not hope it sticks after this incident, hoping my life shall not be taken.

I was invited to work in the medical laboratory to search for a cure. Even that strange people that tried to install something resembling a bug zapper in to McCoy's brain with the book that cured practically everything did not have any useful information for this.

I have been getting fatigued easily and I had to find my way to my quarters during testing. Something young Vulcan and I presume human children do as well. The Humans seem to call it a nap. I can say, though, that the not so good doctor found it funny. I am not in control of my body or my emotions, thus not being fit for duty.

XXX

Fleakers, Beakers and flasks lined the countertop in the medical lab, liquids like candy flavored soda and murky watered tinctures filled them. Spock, McCoy and some other crew members worked quickly, committed to finding the cure for Mr. Spocklet.

Spock's glass blown chocolate eyes became misty as they labored and he fell asleep on the counter, his small head to the side, unaware of the thumb in his mouth that would not by any means be reported to him, but there would be a picture put on to the federation's computers. Strictly for StarBase purposes! Well, maybe.

Kirk was busy with some alien ship following them and so were a lot of the crewmen. Even chapel was taking care of a redshirt with a deadly illness, so McCoy took the liberty of bringing the toddler in to his room. His friend might be pint sized, but he still was one of his closest companions, despite differences and arguments.

Even Bones had to admit, Spocklet was an adorable little kid. He felt a little guilty for thinking that considering it was his friend, and when (he refused to think about if) he was back to normal that would be one heck of a weird thought.

The doors opened and Bones placed Spock on his bed. The little Vulcan shivered. It was already 70 degrees, but I guess that's what desert planets do to you. McCoy bit his bottom lip a little. Heck, why not.

He carefully placed Spock on the mattress underneath the comforter and pulled it up over his shoulders. His black hair draped over his forehead, softly panting.

McCoy wanted to watch over Spock, but, the sleeping officer would tell him that it was illogical and inefficient. Anyway, his life was more important then his sleep. But still, sleep was important if they didn't want a Vulcan throwing a temper tantrum.

He left the room quietly, letting Spock snooze off in his quarters, before going back to the lab to work.

XXX

Kirk sat in his chair, shades and tints of fear smeared his eyes, his hair almost seemed to wilt as he called warp factor 2.

His friend's life was in jeopardy and sitting here didn't seem to be helping. McCoy's advice to get some sleep didn't help. He tossed and turned in bed, seeing little Spock then seeing older, real Spock, wanting his first officer back by his side. He needed Spock to guide him with logic, just as when he had a problem or was feeling down, he'd go to Bones. The enterprise seemed to tip to one side, as the balance was off. One of his two closest friends might die and he was supposed to sit in a chair.

Kirk wasn't allowed to leave, but all the crewmembers could see the storm cloud above his head. "Bones," he said in to the communicator, "I'm coming down there."

A few minutes later, an anxious Kirk stepped in to medical bay. "McCoy, how can I help?"

"Jim, I don't know that you can help."

"I _need _to help, Bones." He glare could melt a heart.

"Did you take chemistry courses?" Bones asked, stirring a chemical that looked an aqua green with a yellow head.

"You have to take some for commanding. Yea, I have a degree in science-y stuff."

"You really just called it science-y?"

"Yes, I did. Now, what's the situation?"

"So, the shrink ray, if that's what we're going to call it, is fueled by liquid demdroherite." He held up a bottle that looked like slightly fermented water. A yellow shade. "and if you mix it with sulfuric concentrate B, the electrons start going really fast, and go so fast, the shell has to shrink, thus shrinking the atom. If it spreads, it shrinks anything. But it doesn't work on human cells because of the bio-structure. So, Spock's minor differences make all the difference."

"So, his Vulcan differences are what is making him smaller?"

"Yes, it related to the tissue of the cell wall and the nervous system. The atoms there are going faster then it allows on humans, and to accept all that speed, it has to take up other resources, thus the pituitary gland and all the stuff that makes you grow. Hence Spocklet."

"Alright." Jim responded, vaguely following the conversation, looking around a little before noticing one very small detail. Literally. "Where's Spock?"

"I guess Vulcan kids at least run on the same bed times. He lay down for a little while. Took a nap." McCoy took another flask, dripping it's contents in to the yellow water.

"Oh. I'll go see how he's doing." Kirk got up and left, happy to be out. At least McCoy didn't know he had slept through honors science.

Kirk quietly stepped in, the child first officer asleep, snoring softly in to the sheet. Jim sat at the desk, watching over his friend, unwavering. He would not let Spock's life slip. He would wait. He would guard him. Nothing was going to happen while he was around.

The room was quiet except for the human and Vulcan breath dimly pulsating in the room. It made Kirk think, "Why is the enterprise always the guinea pig? Why us?" and slowly realization seeped in to his brain. "Starfleet killed my best friend."

Suddenly he felt cold. Ashamed. He had just sinned Starfleet, and worse, had admitted to himself he lost hope. He lost hope that they would find the cure. He lost hope Spock would survive. It would not happen again.


	5. Wake up calls

Unreliable – Chapter Five

(Sorry, I've just been _really _busy, so I haven't had the time. Btw, more funny Spocklet little kid stuff. Getting really out of character possibly, but only to adjust to tiny Spock)

"Jim?" McCoy leaned over the side of the captain's bed, doing his little eyebrow raise he did.

The captain squinted a little, signifying he was finally up, opened his eyes a little, saw Bones, grunted…and finally turned over and went back to sleep. "Come on. It's 11 hundred hours. Also know as way to late for you to be getting up on duty." Bones nudged him, before receiving another annoyed moan.

"I do have caffeine hypos you know." He said, ominously. Sadly, he probably wasn't joking about using them either. Kirk's eyes opened and he sat up.

"Hehe, no need for coffee filled shots…" The captain responded very nervously. "I prefer to take it through mouth." Jim got up, a sign that Bones should leave.

"Good morning sunshine." He muttered as he walked out.

McCoy wanted to check in on Spock. Quietly he made his way down the halls to the room where the Vulcan slept. Carefully opening the door he saw…a kid strategically failing to get back on to bed that was at least two heads taller than him.

Bones wasn't exactly sure what to say, and did not entirely know if this was his friend Spock, or little mini Spocklet, who sometimes he arguably liked better. Better without the 'logical' comments.

"Spock?"

Trying to show a little dignity because number one, his shirt was huge on him (that was the smallest uniform they allowed on the enterprise) and he was aimlessly trying to claw his was up a bedspread, Spock turned around in his Vulcan calmness, now obscenely cute, and merely said. "Hello Doctor."

McCoy had never been good with kids. Even his daughter, his wife did a lot of it, although she was his pride and joy. But still, his first day, he wasn't sure whether to give the miniature girl rum or beer. That earned him a gigantic argument ending in total embarrassment and complete annihilation of his good mood that day for Bones. And years later, a bitter divorce.

"Need help with…whatever it is you're doing?" he said, sparing Spock the embarrassment.

"No thank you doctor, I assure you, I am doing fine." Spocklet replied rather poised, but his cheeks glowed a luminous shade of intense green.

"Sure…" Bones said before walking over to him, and lifting him up on to the bed, and shortly after, ruffling his hair and getting much pleasure out of a little twitching ear. Because seriously, when was he ever going to be able to do this again?

"Get dressed and go to the lab. We have to get working if your ears are ever going to be the same pointiness." Bones said, and walked out.

By this time, they had thoroughly assessed the situation. His atoms were shrinking, and so was he. Eventually it would go so fast…he would pass out and – no, they were not going to think about that. But they needed to reverse engineer it with a chain reaction. They needed a science officer. No, not a science officer. What they needed was Mr. Spock.

The work was tedious considering it was smaller than a grain of sand. Slowly turning the atoms, then adding a molecule of a tincture, then seeing the results. It was today that was predicted that Spock's fine motor skills (the things that allowed him to do delicate things such as these) would begin to deteriorate. And they were so close too.

XXX

Pavel Chekov had sat back, watching this entire episode unfold. This was certainly not the first time something weird like this had gone down. Like when these people living on a planet installed a bug zapper in to McCoy's head, or the time they all had doggy obedience collars on, or possibly when they were told that Spock sang…in a toga. None of this ever happened in Russia!

There is only one person on the starship enterprise who knows this. This one person knew something about Chekov so incredibly sacred, so incredibly secret. This one fact about Pavel that he had never told anyone else, except his parents. Something no body but Sulu on board the enterprise was aloud to know. Something I am going to tell you. Something you really shouldn't know about him. But I know how much you want to get your grimy paws all over it.

Chekov…has…a teddy bear.

A really, fluffy, fuzzy, cute teddy bear. Like the kind you see and you go, wow, I really want that teddy bear. No matter if your some kind of punk or emo, the first thought you get is that is one heck of a cute bear.

And Pavel owned it.

It was a present for going away to star fleet academy. Something else I am also going to tell you is something you are honestly not supposed to know, and really, neither am I, but once again, you have the right to know.

Chekov collected stuffed animals growing up. That's why he has it.

As I said, the teddy bear was adorable. Almost as adorable as the one small child on board the enterprise. Sadly, these two endearing things have a run in.

Alright, next chapter should be up REALLY SOON. It's not going to be boring and serious like the rest. It's going to be absolutely hilarious. Lets just say it involves Spocklet, The Teddy, and…an emotional compromise. 0_o

Till next time, PLEASE R AND R! U MAKE ME SO HAPPY WHEN YOU DO THAT!


	6. The Teddy Bear Incident

Unreliable Phasers chapter SIX!

Note: I went to a comic convention, giving me new star trek related ideas and thanks for you reviews! There will be much glomping and laughing and adorable cute Vulcan ness! Also, check out my deviant art in a little while to see some Spocklet photos. I have the same username! Hey look! More shameless spamming: ALSO! If u like star trek lol stuff, check out my story Student Captains. Nao, on to the story!

Spock walked through the hallways, more self conscience then normal for a Vulcan. Not many of the crewmembers had been informed of his…situation and since he was dressed in a common outfit for Vulcan children, he was hardly recognizable by anyone else but his closest friends.

His face shone a fairly light green. His cheeks were fairly chubby and round (an odd way to describe a Vulcan, but not for a toddler.), and his eyes were much different then when he was taller and full grown. His eyes seemed bigger in comparison to his face and body. They were shiny and large, consistently catching the light in the room and throwing it back at you in an innocent, adorable manner.

This easily explained the next few events that occurred in the hallway.

A few female humans along with two boys, had stopped walking in order to see what a midget was doing on board. They were surprised to see this was no mere midget, it was a Vulcan midget! The girl bent down to his level. "What are you doing here little guy?" she said, a very babying tone in her voice that irritated the small –but still highly intelligent- Mr. Spock.

"I am merely attending to duties. May I ask what it is _you _are doing, yeoman?" he said, calmly, but his face told otherwise. The light green quickly turned darker as he blushed uncontrollably out of embarrassment.

"Oh isn't he the cutest?!" the girl said, turning around to her buddies.

"I just wonder what a Vulcan kid is doing on the Enterprise." Responded one of the guys there, standing back, admiring the little kid.

"Why are you on here?" asked a blue shirted girl, also bending down, much to Spock's disliking and discomfort. He felt nervous being so small. Not to mention they were FREAKING THE HECK OUT OF HIM!

"Why would I not be?" he said, no sense of authority or an ounce of first officerness left in his voice that had a long time to go till puberty.

"Oooh!" the Blue Shirt ran a hand up to his cheek and pinched it really hard. The pain did not make him wince, but it did make him blush more than was vulcanly possibly.

All the ensigns and yeomans stood up at this point, walking away, giggling. Spock hurried down the hall, disturbed and desperate to find Jim. This day was scaring him, and he was already pretty high strung and anything would snap him.

As he speed walked, something caught his eye. Something brown and fuzzy and shaped like a selut. And Pavel Chekov held it close, scanning the hallways and jumped a little to see tiny Spocklet staring at his bear. Oh no.

Chekov had orders to move quarters and there were also a number of boxes outside his room, stacked like stairs. Having a teddy out in the open was embarrassing, but it wouldn't fit in the boxes!

Spocklet's eyes fixated on the object as Pavel continued nervously, pushing the boxes. "What's that?" Spock asked innocently, his Vulcan posterior dropping out of his voice, and sitting in the corner until this moment was done.

Chekov looked around, making sure he wasn't the one being talked to. Bad luck Pavel, you were. "A personal possession." He said, his voice cracking.

"I want it." Now Spock had done it in for himself and Pavel. Spock's normal logic must've shrunk with the rest of his body.

"Uh…you cannot have wit." Pavel replied, but his accent came in big and strong like the motherland, sadly, his response was not as adamant as his speech impediment.

"I want it." Spock repeated, a little more firm.

"No." Chekov said, trying not to allow himself be bullied by a four year old.

Right then something very, very bad happened. Something that happens once every 3 seasons. Spock's eyes began to…jiggle? Little dots of water came up from his lids and slid down his bright green cheeks as his normal, bland expression was turned in to a frown and then to a sad little face. He sniffled and began to wail. Ooh, so wery, wery, not good Chekov.

Much like the rest of the crew, he had no idea what to do with a crying child. So, if you don't know what to do, don't do anything. Right?

He continued to wail, louder now. You would feel so bad for Spocklet, if he asked you to jump off a cliff you would easily do it. Sadly, Chekov's teddy was worth ten thousand times more then a mere hop off a ledge.

The doors to sickbay swung open. "What in the devil's name is all that noise?!" McCoy yelled, his face the complimentary color of Spock's. Bright red. Then all the red drained as he set eyes on Spocklet. "Chekov!" he screamed at the ensign who was about to cry himself. Or maybe wet himself, either one.

"Ye…yes, Mr. uh…Doctor Sir?" he managed to babble.

"How did you manage to do _this?!_" Bones asked, impatiently, and highly

Annoyed over all the yelling.

Poor Chekov. A small child crying over a teddy bear he owned, and then having to tell McCoy that this teddy bear was his own. Fail.

"I want the teddy bear!" Spock whimpered, now sitting down like a puppy.

"Well?" McCoy said, now not asking for the explanation, so much as asking to shut the hell-ridden child up by giving him a freaking teddy bear.

"No!" Pavel said defensively. Bones slapped his face.

"Jim, you better come down here."

XXX

The Captain made his was down to deck 5 to see something he really didn't want to see. An ensign holding a teddy bear, a Vulcan who was his best friend moaning and crying at the top of his lungs and McCoy thoroughly annoyed with the situation.

"Give the kid the teddy bear!" Bones ordered Pavel.

"I said no!" he turned away.

"Pavel, give Spock the bear!" The Kirk realized what had just come out of his mouth. Really?

"No!" Chekov was really starting to become the four year old here.

"That is an order, ensign!" Jim said, in his there's-no-negotiating-and-I-can-court-martial-you-for-this look he was so very good at. Pavel sadly gave the screaming four year old the object that had caused so much trouble and Spock immediately hugged it and didn't let go, eyes transfixed and almost obsessed. "Come on Spock. Continue orders, Mr. Chekov."

Kirk picked up Spock, the Vulcan's head beating on his shoulder as he clung tightly to the stuffed animal that was almost the size of him. Even if Spock was a kid, there were a lot of things to talk about. One of them being manners.


	7. Double Trouble

Unrealiable Phasers chapter 7

REALLY sorry for the extensive wait. I've had a lot of things to do. Hope you like the chapter!

Jim carried Spock down the hall in his arms in a relatively awkward position. He didn't know how good his smarts were, so it was strange…carrying his friend – words couldn't really describe it without making it worse.

Spock breathed heavily but quietly. Something compelled Jim to hold him a little tighter…sort of a protective gene if you would call it that.

The doors to sickbay opened with a squeal that made Kirk wince a little. He put Spocklet down in a chair. Spock looked up at Jim, his large puppy eyes asking 'why are you leaving?' Jim blinked and turned around. So strange seeing one of his best friends as a kid…

"Bones-" he took the doctor by the arm and continued walking in to another room, making McCoy drop the spoon he was using to mix a tincture with. "have you found the cure yet?" he demanded, pleaded.

Jims begging was rewarded with a thin smile. "We think we found it. I've been keeping it in a location so no one can disturb it. Only I know where it is. It's extremely delicate."

"I need my first officer back now! Think isn't good enough, Bones." Kirk said, unhappy with this response.

"The only problem is, we can't test it. If it works it will reverse the effect. It works on humans…but on Vulcans is different." Jim looked Bones straight on in the eyes, a his own little bit wet from tears, fought to be held back. McCoy's looked similar. "I want him back too."

Xxx

It was decided they were not going to test it. There were no Vulcan blood cells resembling spock's current condition and drawing blood could greatly effect the test. They were on the other side of the galaxy and there was no going back to the desert planet Vulcans called home. They would just have to wait a little longer.

"But I want more!" Spocklet called as they sat down for lunch. Jim, the incredibly intelligent captain had decided to allow the Vulcan child a sip of…chocolate milk.

"Not until you eat." Kirk said adamantly, still not used to child first officer.

Spock looked at the glass of the brownish liquid, blinked and blushed a deep shade of green as his inner Vulcan 'Spockness' took over again.

"I'm…sorry. I do not know why I am acting the way I am." He said very quietly.

Jim looked back at him. "It's alright Spock." And they continued eating.

xxx

After the meal was over and the plates had been cleaned, Jim's much more thoroughly then the small Vulcan child, the captain allowed Spock the rest of the glass. Little did he know, this just might be a fatal mistake.

"All I did was give him a glass of chocolate milk!" Jim said defensively.

"Correction, you gave a _Vulcan _a glass of chocolate milk! Do you know what chocolate does to that green ice water?" Bones screamed.

Kirk looked at his feet, saying no without actually speaking.

"Jim, it creates a hormone that releases twice as much adrenaline then should be in a Vulcan's body. In other words, they get high. And the get a hangover." Kirk's eyes remained on the ground. "Well, he's not going to die. I'm sure you just don't want a hyper five year old on your hands, because he's sure not letting you leave him with a redshirt." McCoy said in a softer, forgiving tone.

"Great." Kirk responded, and grinned.

"No. Umm…no." Bones said, taking a step back.

"In that case, you're not a redshirt. You're taking him off my hands."

"What?"

"Captain's orders." Jim said smugly, smiling his I-can-make-you-do-whatever-I-want and what-are-you-going-to-do?-commit-mutiny? faces in one of those annoying sing song-y chants.

"I am going to murder you."

"If you're not already dead with a bouncing toddler."

"You owe me BIG time."

"Haha sucker!" Jim quickly ran out of med bay. Bones seethed silently in his quarters. Maybe early flu shots would be good payment. He did have Jim's needle-phobia on record. 100% fact. Now there were only two questions. How to get Spock back to normal, and where was the little hobgoblin?

Xxx

Bones had Spock sit on one of the medical beds and chained him down for good measure. Problem was, it was against Starfleet orders to duck tape his mouth shut, so for a good long three hours random equations, facts and annoying comments streamed through his green tinted lips.

"SHUDDUP SPOCK!" Bones slammed his fist on the table, causing his reverse engineered Vulcan/human tincture to spill all over his uniform and seep on to his skin. "Oh no."

***Okay, more coming really soon. Thanks for waiting! By the way, I kinda couldn't resist with bones. I just love him sooo much the idea was toying with me all today, so what the heck.***


	8. One down, one to go

Chapter 8

-Okay, Bonesy! (Sorry, he's my new obsession.) I couldn't resist. Here goes.

Bones shrunk quickly, the countertop zooming past his head until his sat on the floor looking up like a puppy. He stood up, finding his new, smaller body was a tad off balance. "Oh god…oh no…" McCoy paced around, trying to find a way to get up to the spilled glass.

"Something the matter doc-" Spock had obviously come back to his more adult form, and stopped in mid sentence as he grasped that he was not alone in being two feet tall.

Bones scowled at Spock. A tiny sliver of a smile broke through the vulcan's mouth and he began laughing. Clearly his emotions were not Vulcan-ly intact.

"Shuddup you hobgoblin!" Bones clutched his throat. His voice was really high.

Spock smiled and slowly it went back to that smug, snarky Vulcan look.

"I have to get that beaker and clean this up!" He cried as he ran around frantically.

"Your yelling and outbursts will not help you, Doctor."

"I said shut up, spocklet!" Spock raised a tiny eyebrow at this.

"Spocklet," he paused. "Lenny?"

Bones stopped his hurrying as turned around. "What did you just say?"

"I did not mean to inquire anything, Lenny." Spock was obviously becoming more and more amused with this.

"Why you…" Just then the doors to sickbay squealed open and in great time before Bones was about to begin whacking Spock until he was a mess of green pools.

Kirk walked in, appearing to be in a better mood now. "Bones, I-" he stopped, not seeing the good doctor. "Bones?" Little McCoy sighed and slapped his forehead with a chubby hand.

"Down here." Kirk's good mood shattered in to a million pieces and then soon after turned into dust.

"Bones – what did you do?" It was spooky seeing Spock like this, slowly becoming a nightmare as now his OTHER best friend was a child.

"Your wonderful first officer and your smart decision making with the chocolate milk has left me now a midget."

"How much time do you have?" Jim was freaking out now.

"Jeez, I don't know. I – wait! The stuff I spilled all over myself was reverse engineered!"

"So how does that help us?" Kirk was really getting angry with his tiny CMO.

"Come on, Jim." Bones climbed up on a chair, feeling better now that he was not as small as a pea compared to kirk. "Really? You're a starship captain…"

Kirk sat there silently, looking at this kid who was doubting his brains.

"GIVE IT TO SPOCK!"

Jim blushed. How had he not thought of that? He guessed the pressure of having two officers shrunkified was weighing on him. "Right. Which one?"

Kirk scanned the many flasks and bottles. "It has a grayish substance. It's bubbly." Bones' high voice made Jim wince.

"How do I give it to him?" He gingerly picked up the container and held it up to the light. It let in a glint of light.

"By mouth."

"Okay. Bones, are you sure?"

"Positive. If it had the results on me-" he paused and Jim smiled slightly, making Bones throw a hissy fit. "Don't laugh!" he screamed.

This only made Jim laugh more.

"Ar!" Or at least that was the sound that McCoy most sounded like.

"Alright, alright." Jim sighed. "Spock, here."

The child with the pointed ears took the potion and held it in both hands. There wasn't much in it since now Little Bones had spilled it. Spocklet looked up curiously at the Starfleet captain.

"Drink it."

Spock sniffed it and scowled.

"Great! He doesn't like it!" Jim threw his arms up in the air. "Does it have to be taken by mouth?"

"For Vulcans, yes."

"Drink it!" He commanded the child.

"No!" Spock squealed in disgust.

"That's an order!"

"No!"

_Great. _Kirk thought. _Not only is he a kid, he acts more like a human. Not what I need now. And with Bones-"_

"Drink it you hobgoblin! I need to be back to my REGULAR size!" Bones was now on top of Spock, holding the potion.

"McCoy, no!" Kirk grabbed hold of Bones' arm and took away the potion and placed it safely on the countertop. He tugged his medical officer off his science officer.

Bones held his hand on his forehead. "Oh god. I guess this cure accelerates it for humans – crap. Since his electrons run faster and Vulcans live longer…oh no."

"What?"

"If you don't get Spock to ingest that soon," McCoy's face got deadly serious and scared. "I'm going to be stuck like this." In his large cerulean eyes, the fear was evident and as brightly colored as his huge blue shirt.

Spock had began to whimper shortly after the 'good' doctor's attack leaving none other than the not so childcare trained captain to talk to his tiny medical officer and at the same time force feed a crying Vulcan a strange, gray, bad smelling (and assumingly tasting) fluid.

"I'm called in some ensigns. I need to force it down somehow." Spock now burst out in a full fledged fit of tears.

"Wait, Jim, I have an idea." Bones grinned a mischievous, cute chubby faced grin. "You gave him chocolate milk?"

Kirk now smiled too and walked over to the communicator. "Sick bay to Cafeteria, Kirk here. Get me a bottle of chocolate syrup, stat."

Spock sat on a medical bed and opened his eyes. A small child with brown hair and a snarky complexion sat over him, along with his best friend the captain. "He's waking up!"

The Vulcan blinked lazily and perked his head up with a little assist from Kirk. He looked at the end of the bed where his bare feet lay. Bare feet! Bare size 11 feet! Spock shot up and sat upright, his face in a little shock and amazement and he grinned, obviously still a little high from the chocolate.

"Lay back down, Spock." Bones was also looking rather joyful as he stood over the now full size Mr. Spock.

Jim laughed happily, and without thinking, threw his arms around the Vulcan. Spock's smile faded in to a line of a mouth and his eyes went wide and his face went pale, obviously uncomfortable. "May I inquire why you are exerting physical contact in what is known as the human custom of joy?" he asked awkwardly, his muscles clenching in the weirdness of it all.

Jim let go and blushed an inhuman red. "Sorry…Spock."

"That is…fine. But my I ask why there is a child in the medical area?"

Bones slapped his forehead. "It's me, you oversized elf!"

"The doctor? From your dimension it seems as you are certainly not Dr. McCoy, but the obvious display of uncouth behavior, it would seem." He mused, beginning to remember how the doctor had laughed at _his _mere size.

"Pixie!"

"May I again ask another question? Why do you find called me human mythical creatures satisfying? I find this behavior fascinating." Slits of a grin built in his mouth.

"Spock! Just please get to work with the cure for this!" Kirk was happy to have his first officer back at his side and also to see their so familiar bickering being shouted by Bones and stated by Spock.

"Contented to oblige, captain." He walked over slowly to the table.

"A human emotion?" Bones quietly nudged the captain, so Spock couldn't hear. Unfortunately, Spock's inhuman but very Vulcan hearing heard every word of it.

"Not a human emotion doctor, a statement energies."

McCoy didn't even feel like arguing. It was great having him back. But now Kirk's worry was directed at Bones. We need to have _him _back.


End file.
